StatusFacebook

Cool Profile Pictures ::

Welcome to StatusFacebook.com, one of the Best, Cool, and Awesome statuses and profile pictures for girls and boys. collected from a variety of sources. We hope you enjoy to browse our status pages and profile pictures.


Greetings ::

Find Best, fun, animated greetings, about me quotes, birthday greetings, birthday graphics, birthday animated graphics, Miss you Quotes, Miss you images, Miss you graphic comments.

Cover Photos ::

Find Best cover photos for your Facebook Timeline! Choose a Facebook Timeline Cover Photo that fits your personal style.

 

Funny Statuses ::

Below you will find our collection of facebook statuses like funny statuses,, collected from a variety of sources.

Funny Status

m just cool like a hot cofee
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Funny Status

if u liked my profile , raise up ur hands. if not , raise ur standard..!!!
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Funny Status 

don't hate me coz i m cool,hate me coz ur girlfrnd think i m !!!!!
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Funny Status 

Only fools Falls in luv....n i guess i ws 1 of dem...
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Funny Status 

Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
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Funny Status 

if u r bad then im ur dad
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Funny Status 

Everyone gets a chance in the spotlight, you can have it when I'm done!
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Funny Status 

Kisses spread germs and germs are hated.....so kiss me baby!! I'm vacinated!!!!!!!!!
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Funny Status 

being single doesnt mean always available
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Funny Status 

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience...
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Nice Status

like a fallen star u fel into my life.u made me smile wen thingz werent rite..if hugz were water id send u the c.n sail away 4eva jus u n me.....!
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Nice Status

its bit easy to say ''i M wat i M !''.... bt as same, bit difficult to prove it...!!
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Nice Status 

○ i read somewhere ''people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do nothing....!
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Nice Status 

Death is not d greatest loss in life....... d greastest loss is wen relationship dies inside us wen we r alive
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Nice Status 

Smile a while and while you smile, smile another smile and soon there will be miles and miles of smile just because you smiled, I wish your day is full of SMILE
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Nice Status 

True relationships don't need efforts to be maintained , if they need ,they were never true
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Nice Status 

Trying To Forget Someone You Love Alot frm Bottom Of Ur HEART.. Is Like trying To Remember Someone You Never Met.
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Nice Status 

i dont suffer from stress...im a carrier!!
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Nice Status 

MaNy NiTeS i'Ve CrIeD fRoM tHe ThInGs U dO, fElT lYkE i cOulD dIe FrOm ThE tHoUgHt Of LoSiNg YoU.....
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Nice Status 

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.!!
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Cool status

Once you have love in your heart & Holy Spirit within you. No one can stop you.
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Cool status

ashes to ashes dust to dust life is short so ... party we must.
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Cool status

To live life is to live fearlessly.when u hv nothing to hide, u hv nithing to avoid..so live transperent. life......A open book...
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Cool status

My gr8tst fear is not my WEAKNESS..Its my strength I FEAR most...M not afraid of DARkness...M afraid of my LyT which d world cant SustAIn.....
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Cool status

Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold.
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Cool status

I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorow...!!!!
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Cool status

● Turn of d light bt i will still shine ●
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Cool status

The RACE is NOT OVER coz i have'nt WON yet....high determination.
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Cool status

There is an island of opportunity in the middle if every difficulty.
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Cool status

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.
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Clever Status

If lovin' u is wrong- I don't want 2 be right.
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Clever Status

Why are you reading my status? hmmm? seriously? you don't have anything else to do? get a life people!!! I'm not that interesting!!
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Clever Status 

I removed L from LOVER…….n now its all OVER !!!
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Clever Status 

You always stop to stare, Why not just take a picture?¿?
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Clever Status 

If tHe fActs doN't fIt The tHeOry, cHange tHe facTs.
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Clever Status 

î'm înnøø©Ënt, ßt Ðøn't mαkË mË ƒøøøøl...
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Clever Status 

AVOID LIFE ......IT......... KILLS IN D END .
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Clever Status 

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
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Clever Status 

If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Clever Status

EACH SUCCESS ONLY BUYS AN ADMISSION TICKET TO MORE DIFFICULT PROBLEM.
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Funny Status 

I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
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Funny Status 

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
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Funny Status 

What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal.
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Funny Status 

I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.
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Funny Status 

My neighbor obviously doesn`t watch porn. She asked me to come fix her sink, I been here for an hour and i`m still fixing the damn sink.
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Funny Status 

primary source of income: when my mom gives me money to buy something and doesn’t ask for the change back
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Funny Status 

*listens to “big girls dont cry” while crying* *cries even more because now I’ve also disappointed Fergie*
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Funny Status 

"hey since you’re up can u-" *sits down*
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Funny Status 

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one
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Funny Status 

My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them straight in the eye and said, "Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause..." & walked away like a boss.
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Funny Status 

If skinny people go skinny dipping, what do fat people do? The chunky dunk???
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Funny Status 

I don`t see why everybody wants the white iPhone, everyone knows the black one runs faster.
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Funny Status 

Why couldn`t the ghost get a drink at the bar? They don`t serve SPIRITS!
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Funny Status 

I`d participate in more blind taste tests if they didn`t always scream & hit me with their canes while I`m licking them.
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Funny Status 

He thought he was clever because his blood test results said A+.
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Funny Status 

"Being green, easy it is not." --Yoda training Kermit
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Funny Status 

Girl messes up guy`s hair = cute. Guy messes up girl`s hair = death.
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Funny Status 

If you don`t have skinny genes, don`t wear skinny jeans.
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Funny Status 

I`m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
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Funny Status 

my least favorite animals are children
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Funny Status 

That Moment when your 6-yr old pretends she`s all grown up and takes charge of setting the table
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Funny Status 

#thatmoment when you`re walking in the middle of walmart & private parts begin to itch. Why then? Why not in the car?
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Funny Status 

Hate when i loose something and my parents says "well i guess u didnt care about it enough" like you`ve lost me in a grocery store before so
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Funny Status 

Can`t trust a bitch who lets the microwave hit 0, she doesn`t care about her life...she probably jumps on the lava part of the floor too.
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Funny Status 

My neighbor obviously doesn`t watch porn. She asked me to come fix her sink, I been here for an hour and i`m still fixing the damn sink.
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Funny Status 

"I wasn`t that drunk!" Dude you walked up to a truck and whisper "I know your secret..... Optimus Prime"
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Funny Status 

Twenty years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please, don`t let Kevin Bacon die.
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Funny Status 

I`m a huge fan of 50 Cent or as he`s known in Zimbabwe.. Four hundred million dollars
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Funny Status 

Forgetting to bring your phone to the toilet when you`re going to poop is like forgetting to bring a gun to war.
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Funny Status 

Me: "Hurry, give me a shoe to kill the spider!" *Friend gives me my shoe* "No BITCH not MY shoe!"
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Funny Status 

Every time i see a hitch-hiker i just pretend that they`re trying to tell me i`m doing a great driving job.
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Funny Status 

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear to help them ignore the shit out of you.
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Funny Status 

My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
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Funny Status 

Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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Funny Status 

Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her.
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Funny Status 

Do you serve woman at this bar? No sir, you must bring your own.
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Funny Status 

"I wasn`t THAT drunk!" Dude, you were running circles around my car screaming "WHICH SEAT CAN I TAKE!?!?"
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Funny Status 

You`re such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship & there was only one life jacket... I`d miss you a lot & think of you often.
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Funny Status 

me: it’s too hot me: *opens window* *in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses*
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Funny Status 

Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “northwest.”
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Funny Status 

What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyonce.
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Funny Status 

If robbers ever broke into my house searching for money, I would just laugh and search with them.
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Funny Status 

Harry Potter fans: I wanna go to Hogwarts! Narnia fans: I wanna go to Narnia! Hunger Games fans: Nope I`m good...
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Funny Status 

At the gym: Him: I really want to impress that hot chick over there, which machine should I use?! Me: The ATM.
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Funny Status 

when you ask your mom a single question & she yells her response
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Funny Status 

That moment when Slapping your best friend when you are excited about something.
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Funny Status 

We all know someone who desperately needs a haircut.
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Funny Status 

Bringing your pet over to a mirror and being like "That`s you."
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Funny Status 

I liked you until you farted and turned the MUSIC up like it was gonna cover the smell.
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Funny Status 

Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
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Funny Status 

I went out with a girl who`s a dentist last night. She said she had a great time and would like to see me again in about six months.
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Funny Status 

I`ve been told I have a face for photoshop.
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Funny Status 

Facebook account is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account!
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Funny Status 

I think it`s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they`re scared. I`m like... you idiot, that`s the first place monsters go!
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Funny Status 

Boss: We need you to do a drug test... Me: Great! Which drugs am I testing?
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Funny Status 

Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teen girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
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Funny Status 

Never give up on your dreams! Keep sleeping.
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Funny Status 

I almost when to jail today... #Monopoly gets so intense. :O
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Funny Status 

You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
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Funny Status 

What`s the difference between you and a calendar? ..A calendar has dates.
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Funny Status 

My room isn`t dirty, I just have everything on display.
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Funny Status 

I DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, WHEREVER I WANT. .. As long as my mom says it`s ok...
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Funny Status 

I`m rebooting my life; Ctrl+Alt+Vodka .
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Funny Status 

if anne hathaway doesnt say anne hatharrived every time she walks into a room she`s wasting a great opportunity
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Funny Status 

"Did you get a haircut?" "No, I got into a fight with the lawnmower and the lawnmower won."
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Funny Status 

A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
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Funny Status 

When I cross a one way road, I still look both ways. Just in case there are any women driving.
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Funny Status 

Cops never say "Thank you for committing a crime and keeping us employed," selfish bastards!
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Funny Status 

hey can you please never talk to me again its for a school project
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Funny Status 

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
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Funny Status 

The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
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Funny Status 

My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
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Funny Status 

Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
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Funny Status 

12 years of school and I`m still not sure if it`s “grey” or “gray”
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Funny Status 

Me: Hey close the door. Parent: *leaves door open 2 centimeters* Me: *dying whale noise*
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Funny Status 

Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
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Funny Status 

Whoever said "money doesnt grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
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Funny Status 

True friends don`t judge each other. They judge other people together.
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Funny Status 

Getting caught in one of those, "It`s not what it looks like" moments.
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Funny Status 

Police: "You were going fast." Me: "I was trying to keep up with traffic." Police: "There isn`t any." Me: I know! That`s how far behind I am
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Funny Status 

I forgot to turn off my SWAG before I went to sleep yesterday. I woke up homeless and working at McDonalds.
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Funny Status 

Scientists say the world is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
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Funny Status 

I want to steal a doughnut truck and go on a high speed chase, because it would be funny watching cops chase a doughnut truck on the news.
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Funny Status 

`Mom, can we go to McDonalds?" "there`s food in the fridge." "That`s not what I asked...
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Funny Status 

If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace, how many bedrooms would your mansion have?
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Funny Status 

My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.
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Funny Status 

"Was that lightning?" Nooo... they`re taking pictures for google earth.
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Funny Status 

Nothings more frightening than flushing the toilet and see the water rise till the top.
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Funny Status 

Facebook status: "I`m done with this shit!" Me: "Did you wipe?"
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Funny Status 

White girls will dance with anybody in the club. black girls don`t play they`ll flash their cell phone in your face to see what you look like :)
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Funny Status 

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd one`s for you!
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Funny Status 

Your parents payed your iPhone, MacBook and bought you car? And they`re paying for your school? Please, tell me how hard your life is.
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Funny Status 

I bet our entire universe is just in a tiny glass jar placed neatly on a shelf in an alien child`s room as a science project he got a C- on.
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Funny Status 

When I was kid I always wanted a tree-house. ....who am I kidding? I still want one!
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Funny Status 

Saying you`ll wake up EARLY to get something done... then when you wake up, convincing yourself it`s not important..
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Funny Status 

that embarrassing moment when you realize that person wasn`t waving at you
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Funny Status 

Boy: My Father`s name is LAUGHING and my Mother`s name is SMILING. Teacher: You must be Kidding? Boy: No, that`s my brother. I am JOKING
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Funny Status 

You can`t make somebody love you... You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
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Funny Status 

Me jealous of you? Sweet Jesus, Bless your delusional heart.
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Funny Status 

If at first you don`t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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Funny Status 

Just drove by a treehouse with a sign saying “Girls Allowed.” I`m curious to see how the treehouse community handles this paradigm shift.
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Funny Status 

A Mosquito landed on my friend`s face.... Easiest decision of my life!
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Funny Status 

In alcohol’s defense, I`ve done some pretty dumb stuff while completely sober too.
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Funny Status 

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 4 or 5 times, just to be sure.
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Funny Status 

*texts back 3 weeks later* sorry I fell asleep
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Funny Status 

If I see an Apple store getting robbed, does that make me an iWitness?
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