A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A junior in an office dialed his boss's number by mistake & said :
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes !......
Boss shouted : do you know whom you're talking to?!!!!!!
... Junior: no!
Boss: i'm the boss of this office.
Junior(in the same tone): & do u know whom you're talking to?
Boss: no!
Junior: thank God.(and disconnected the phone).. ;) :P

Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: why didn't you tell me when I was removing my CLOTHES?
Officer Santa: Removing clothes is not restricted.

Four candles were talking to each other

1st-"I am PEACE, no one needs me" & it went off..
2nd-"I am FAITH, nobody believes in me" & it went off..
3rd-"I am LOVE, nobody cares for me" & it went off..
4th-"I can light the other three because I am HOPE & I last forever!"

Life is tough, sometimes impossible to live.. but never lose hope.
I wish that your candle of HOPE lights all your other candles and keep them glowing.
Stay Blessed :)

D best thing in lyf is wen Girlfriend gets angry wid u, n say, i wil nvr talk 2 u.
.
Stil d prsn cums back 2 u juz 2 inform-mai gussa hun.!!

As I look back in my life, I Remember Tears i Cried
Jokes I laugh & Things I lost & Missed by
Bt there is 1 best thing I nevr Regret Its D day “JAB WE MET”

Best STATUS for best friend ever:

True friends may not be able to give their life for U.
But,
They can definitely giv ur life back to U, when U think U have lost it.

Unknown call on a guys mobile. A girl speaks.
Girl: do u have a girlfriend?
Man: yes who r u?
Girl: your wife jaldi ghar aa kaminey
Another unknown call comes
Girl: do you have a girlfriend?
Man: no who r you?
Girl: your girlfriend you cheat
Man: sorry darling i thought u r my wife
Girl: teri wife hi hoon aaj tu bas ghar aa ja

A lovely thought:

"Death is not the greatest loss in life"
"The greatest loss is when relationship dies between two people while they are still alive"..

Police wale ne carwale ko roka- "yeh suraksha week hai. Aap belt pehn
kar car chala rahe hain, isliye aapko Rs 5,000 ka inaam
dia jata hai. aap is inaam ka kya karoge ?"

car driver- "mein iss inaam se apna driving license banwaunga"

pichli seat par baithi uski maa boli- "iski bat ka yakin mat karo.
ye sharab pi kr kuch b bolta hai."

uske papa bole- "muje pata tha ki chori ki car me
hm zyada dur nhi ja payenge."

Tabhi dikki se awaz ayi-
"bhai hmne border par kar lia kya ?.............. "

How Beautifull y God Keeps On Adding,
.
One More Day In Our Life!!
.
Not Only Because U Need It...
.
Because Some One Else Need U Everyday..

Accept Every Victory With A Humble Heart
And
Every Defeat With A Gracious Mind
Is The Best Way To Live In This World

"Win Or Loss" Life Has To Go On

Ek Phool unake bhi naam ka rakh lo pooja ki thaali mein ..
jinaki saanse tham gai hain Bhaarat Maan ki rakhavaali mein ...
Jay Hind...

Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
Qnki bank me likha tha..

"hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain"

'YOU' knw whats the greatst thing dat I NEVR WANT 2 MISS at anytym in my life?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Its the 1st word of this STATUS.
Don't look back now.. Guess it.. ---<@ Love u forever

Dekho mausam kitna suhana hai,Thandi thandi fizao ka aana jana hai,Kuch status kar liya karo dost,Is balnce se kya apni shaadi ka card chapwana hai?

Nafrat na karna kabhi hamse
ham a seh nahi payenge
Bus 1 bar keh dena k zarurat nahi tum jaise dost ki
aap ki kasam apko peetne apke ghar tak chale ayenge..

Dub jati H kastiyan jb ate Hai tufan,
Yaden reh jati Hai bichad jate h insan.
Yad rakhoge to bahut karib paoge,
Bhul jaoge to beta bahut maar khaoge

Missing you gets easier every day
because even though it’s one day
further from the last time we saw each other and
it's one day closer
to the next time we will meet.

Dictionary is the only place
where Death comes before Life,
Success before Work,
Divorce before Marriage,
But Friend come before Relative.

A simple but Best joke:- An applicant was filling out a job application.
When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."

If 10 people care 4 u, one of them is me, if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again, if no 1 cares 4 u that means i m not in this world.

You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. – Zig Ziglar

Talk with yourself atleast once in a day...!!!
Otherwise you will miss your best friend in this world..!!

:: Hindi Love status ::

U want and u get that is luck,
u want and u wait that is time,
u want and u earn that is ability,
u want but u compromise that is life

Dictionary is the only place
where Death comes before Life,
Success before Work,
Divorce before Marriage,
But Friend come before Relative.

A good person will always be in memory.
.
.
A better person will always be in dreams.
.
.
.
But the best person will always be in heart.

Failure also looks beautiful when u have a loved one to support it.
But even success hurts when u don't have a loved one to share it.

Best Thought:-
Khushi Ke Liye kuchh KaroGe Toh,
Khushi Shayad Na Mile,
Lekin Khush Hoke Kuchh KaroGe Toh,
Khushi Zarur Milegi..!!

U may meet people,
better than me,
funnier than me,
more beautiful than me,
but one thing i can say 2 u...
I will always be there 4 u when they all leave u.

Phool Se Pahle Khushbu Ko To Dekho,
Karne Se Pahle Kaam Ko Dekho,
Kisi k Roop Me Diwana Na Bano,
Surat Se Pahle Uske DiL Ko To Dekho.!!

3rd person never creates any Mis-understanding
between two people....

But....

Mis-understanding between 2 people creates space for 3rd person....

Invite Allah Into The Chemistry of Life.

He'll Dilute your Sorrows,

Evaporate your Worries,

Filter your Mistakes

&

Leave you with Crystals of Happiness!

INSHAALLAH.

"Flowers" are very soft,
do not "Touch" them with hard hands...

Similarly

"Feelings" are like soft flowers,
do not "Touch" them with harsh words...

If I can only touch the RAINBOW

I will write YOUR NAME on top of it

To let the PEOPLE know

How COLORFUL is my LIFE to have a PERSON like U ... (:

Mera saath na de koi, chalna mujhe aata hai,
Har Aag se Wakif hoon, jalnaa mujhe aata hai.

There is always a reason 4 everything
A reason 2 live
A reason 2 die
A reason 2 cry,
But if u can?t find a reason to smile
Can I be the reason 4 a while:)

Waqt Se Larkar Jo Nasib Badal
De, Insan Wahi Hai Jo Takdir
Badal De, Kal Kya Hoga Ye Kavi
Na Socho, Kya Pata Kal Waqt
Khud Apni Tasveer Badal De..!.................best positive status

Ye status app best friends ko forward karo agar apko 6 status same aaye to its true…

My_______Made Me Special..??

Rocking thought : 
"Knowingly we dont hv tym 2 help ppl,
Unknowingly we alwyz manage tym to hurt ppl"..
Think Again... its true..

Santa -Jab bhi wife mera
photo apne mobile se click karti hai
mujhe bahut daar lagta hai.
aaj kal OLX aur quikr ki bahut
ads bahut aati hai na.

Music channels par status karke apne girlfriend ko songs dedicate
karna bhi patthar par "Raj loves riya" likhne se kam nahi h

Pahle log beta ke liye taraste the but aajkal FAST 3G DATA ke liye

Aajkal log mandir me chappal bhi esi jagah utarte hai


jaha se bhagwan bhi dekhe or chappal bhi

Punch Of The Day
Once A Man Asked God
Why all girls are so cute & sweet
And all wifes are always angry?
God answered :
Girls are made by me…
And you make them wife’s!!!

1 talent test me puchha gaya,
.
.
Agr apki shadi judwa behan me se
kisi ek k sath ho jaye to aap apni
wife ko kaise pehchanoge ??
.
.
Best ans- Hum Q Pehchaane?

When I dont do it on time
"I am lazy"

but when my boss doesnt do it on time
"He is busy"

"POSITION MAKES THE DIFFERENCE"

Girl to doctor: I am sweet 16 sir.....
My skin is sillky soft N sensitive.....
I am very fairrrrr
mein raat ko kya laga kar soya karun?


Doctor: Lock your door well before you sleep....

Never make a women cry…

There is nothing more expensive than a female tear….
When a single drop comes out,
It 1st mixes with
‘Loreal’ eyeliner (Rs.650) &
‘Dior’ mascara (Rs.2500)..
Then when it rolls down the cheek, it mixes with
‘D&G’ blusher (Rs.2500)…
finally when it touches the lips, it gets mixed with
‘Maybelline’ lipstick (Rs.350)…

This means that a single drop is ruining cost Rs.6000!!

Tohfa Wó Jó Kisika Yadgar Bàn Jayé
Chàhat Wó Jó kisika Pyar Bàn Jayé
Dil Na Dhukhana Tum KisiKa Apni Baató Sé
Dosti Wó Jó Kisika Aitbar Bàn Jayé.

An amazing quote :
smtimes in lyf itz difficult 2 decide
whatz wrong or ryt?

A lie dat draws a smile?
or
D truth dat draws a tear?............best jokes

Aaj ke jamane me satsang usi sant ka badiya rehta hai!
Jiske pandal me garm garm puri-jalebi aur adrak wali chai mile!

Acchi zindgi jine ke do tarike hote he,
1. Jo Pasand he use Hassil karna sikh lo

ya

2. Jo Hassil he use Pasand karna sikh lo...............

One of the best status jokes
Madam : Where is the..
CAPITAL of INDIA ?
Student: In Swiss Banks.

"Waqt or pyar"
Dono zindagi me khas hota hain..
Waqt kisi ka nahi hota
or pyar har kisi se nahi

Its not hard to sacrifice sumthng 4 sum 1
but its hard to find sum 1 who deserves ur sacrifice

Agar kisi k pass sub kuch ho to duniya jalti hay,
Agar kuch na ho to duniya hansti hay,

Meray paas aap k liyay sirf "DUA" hai,
Jis k liyay sari duniya tarasti hay,

Height of Addiction : 
just b4 a prisoner's execution the officer
asked him abt his last wish
He told : 
"Dude! I wanna update my facebook status"

Light of wisdom :

I trust on cigarette more than a girl..!!

bcoz...


i can afford 2 damage my lungs
but not my heart!!!

Nice people r like wind,
u nvr know vot dey hv in deir heart but
u can alwayz feel deir persence.
dont luk here n dere 2 find dem,
luk in the mirror

Beautiful Pictures are Devolped
from Negatives in a Dark Room.
So, if U see Darkness in ur Life
be sure that God is making
a Beautiful Picture 4 U! :).....status for WhatsApp

In this WORLD,
where everything seems UNCERTAIN,
only one thing is DEFINITE.

You'll always be my FRIEND,
beyond WORDS, beyond TIME
&
beyond DISTANCE!

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