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Funny Statuses ::
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Funny Status |
| if u liked my profile , raise up ur hands. if not , raise ur standard..!!! |
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Funny Status |
| Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you. |
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Funny Status |
| Kisses spread germs and germs are hated.....so kiss me baby!! I'm vacinated!!!!!!!!! |
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Funny Status |
| Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience... |
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Nice Status |
| like a fallen star u fel into my life.u made me smile wen thingz werent rite..if hugz were water id send u the c.n sail away 4eva jus u n me.....! |
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Nice Status |
| its bit easy to say ''i M wat i M !''.... bt as same, bit difficult to prove it...!! |
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Nice Status |
| ○ i read somewhere ''people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do nothing....! |
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Nice Status |
| Death is not d greatest loss in life....... d greastest loss is wen relationship dies inside us wen we r alive |
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Nice Status |
| Smile a while and while you smile, smile another smile and soon there will be miles and miles of smile just because you smiled, I wish your day is full of SMILE |
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Nice Status |
| True relationships don't need efforts to be maintained , if they need ,they were never true |
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Nice Status |
| Trying To Forget Someone You Love Alot frm Bottom Of Ur HEART.. Is Like trying To Remember Someone You Never Met. |
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Nice Status |
| MaNy NiTeS i'Ve CrIeD fRoM tHe ThInGs U dO, fElT lYkE i cOulD dIe FrOm ThE tHoUgHt Of LoSiNg YoU..... |
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Nice Status |
| I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.!! |
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Cool status |
| Once you have love in your heart & Holy Spirit within you. No one can stop you. |
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Cool status |
| To live life is to live fearlessly.when u hv nothing to hide, u hv nithing to avoid..so live transperent. life......A open book... |
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Cool status |
| My gr8tst fear is not my WEAKNESS..Its my strength I FEAR most...M not afraid of DARkness...M afraid of my LyT which d world cant SustAIn..... |
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Cool status |
| Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold. |
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Cool status |
| I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorow...!!!! |
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Cool status |
| Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. |
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Clever Status |
| Why are you reading my status? hmmm? seriously? you don't have anything else to do? get a life people!!! I'm not that interesting!! |
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Funny Status |
| What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet. |
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Funny Status |
| What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal. |
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Funny Status |
| I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again. |
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Funny Status |
| My neighbor obviously doesn`t watch porn. She asked me to come fix her sink, I been here for an hour and i`m still fixing the damn sink. |
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Funny Status |
| primary source of income: when my mom gives me money to buy something and doesn’t ask for the change back |
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Funny Status |
| *listens to “big girls dont cry” while crying* *cries even more because now I’ve also disappointed Fergie* |
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Funny Status |
| "hey since you’re up can u-" *sits down* |
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Funny Status |
| A committee is twelve men doing the work of one |
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Funny Status |
| My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them straight in the eye and said, "Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause..." & walked away like a boss. |
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Funny Status |
| If skinny people go skinny dipping, what do fat people do? The chunky dunk??? |
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Funny Status |
| I don`t see why everybody wants the white iPhone, everyone knows the black one runs faster. |
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Funny Status |
| Why couldn`t the ghost get a drink at the bar? They don`t serve SPIRITS! |
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Funny Status |
| I`d participate in more blind taste tests if they didn`t always scream & hit me with their canes while I`m licking them. |
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Funny Status |
| He thought he was clever because his blood test results said A+. |
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Funny Status |
| "Being green, easy it is not." --Yoda training Kermit |
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Funny Status |
| Girl messes up guy`s hair = cute. Guy messes up girl`s hair = death. |
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Funny Status |
| If you don`t have skinny genes, don`t wear skinny jeans. |
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Funny Status |
| I`m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. |
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Funny Status |
| my least favorite animals are children |
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Funny Status |
| That Moment when your 6-yr old pretends she`s all grown up and takes charge of setting the table |
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Funny Status |
| #thatmoment when you`re walking in the middle of walmart & private parts begin to itch. Why then? Why not in the car? |
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Funny Status |
| Hate when i loose something and my parents says "well i guess u didnt care about it enough" like you`ve lost me in a grocery store before so |
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Funny Status |
| Can`t trust a bitch who lets the microwave hit 0, she doesn`t care about her life...she probably jumps on the lava part of the floor too. |
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Funny Status |
| My neighbor obviously doesn`t watch porn. She asked me to come fix her sink, I been here for an hour and i`m still fixing the damn sink. |
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Funny Status |
| "I wasn`t that drunk!" Dude you walked up to a truck and whisper "I know your secret..... Optimus Prime" |
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Funny Status |
| Twenty years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please, don`t let Kevin Bacon die. |
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Funny Status |
| I`m a huge fan of 50 Cent or as he`s known in Zimbabwe.. Four hundred million dollars |
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Funny Status |
| Forgetting to bring your phone to the toilet when you`re going to poop is like forgetting to bring a gun to war. |
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Funny Status |
| Me: "Hurry, give me a shoe to kill the spider!" *Friend gives me my shoe* "No BITCH not MY shoe!" |
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Funny Status |
| Every time i see a hitch-hiker i just pretend that they`re trying to tell me i`m doing a great driving job. |
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Funny Status |
| Cats have 32 muscles in each ear to help them ignore the shit out of you. |
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Funny Status |
| My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too. |
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Funny Status |
| Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it. |
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Funny Status |
| Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her. |
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Funny Status |
| Do you serve woman at this bar? No sir, you must bring your own. |
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Funny Status |
| "I wasn`t THAT drunk!" Dude, you were running circles around my car screaming "WHICH SEAT CAN I TAKE!?!?" |
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Funny Status |
| You`re such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship & there was only one life jacket... I`d miss you a lot & think of you often. |
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Funny Status |
| me: it’s too hot me: *opens window* *in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses* |
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Funny Status |
| Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “northwest.” |
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Funny Status |
| What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyonce. |
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Funny Status |
| If robbers ever broke into my house searching for money, I would just laugh and search with them. |
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Funny Status |
| Harry Potter fans: I wanna go to Hogwarts! Narnia fans: I wanna go to Narnia! Hunger Games fans: Nope I`m good... |
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Funny Status |
| At the gym: Him: I really want to impress that hot chick over there, which machine should I use?! Me: The ATM. |
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Funny Status |
| when you ask your mom a single question & she yells her response |
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Funny Status |
| That moment when Slapping your best friend when you are excited about something. |
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Funny Status |
| We all know someone who desperately needs a haircut. |
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Funny Status |
| Bringing your pet over to a mirror and being like "That`s you." |
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Funny Status |
| I liked you until you farted and turned the MUSIC up like it was gonna cover the smell. |
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Funny Status |
| Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon. |
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Funny Status |
| I went out with a girl who`s a dentist last night. She said she had a great time and would like to see me again in about six months. |
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Funny Status |
| I`ve been told I have a face for photoshop. |
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Funny Status |
| Facebook account is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account! |
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Funny Status |
| I think it`s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they`re scared. I`m like... you idiot, that`s the first place monsters go! |
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Funny Status |
| Boss: We need you to do a drug test... Me: Great! Which drugs am I testing? |
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Funny Status |
| Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teen girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics. |
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Funny Status |
| Never give up on your dreams! Keep sleeping. |
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Funny Status |
| I almost when to jail today... #Monopoly gets so intense. :O |
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Funny Status |
| You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out" |
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Funny Status |
| What`s the difference between you and a calendar? ..A calendar has dates. |
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Funny Status |
| My room isn`t dirty, I just have everything on display. |
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Funny Status |
| I DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, WHEREVER I WANT. .. As long as my mom says it`s ok... |
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Funny Status |
| I`m rebooting my life; Ctrl+Alt+Vodka . |
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Funny Status |
| if anne hathaway doesnt say anne hatharrived every time she walks into a room she`s wasting a great opportunity |
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Funny Status |
| "Did you get a haircut?" "No, I got into a fight with the lawnmower and the lawnmower won." |
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Funny Status |
| A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water. |
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Funny Status |
| When I cross a one way road, I still look both ways. Just in case there are any women driving. |
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Funny Status |
| Cops never say "Thank you for committing a crime and keeping us employed," selfish bastards! |
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Funny Status |
| hey can you please never talk to me again its for a school project |
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Funny Status |
| Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot. |
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Funny Status |
| The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer. |
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Funny Status |
| My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner. |
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Funny Status |
| Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him. |
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Funny Status |
| 12 years of school and I`m still not sure if it`s “grey” or “gray” |
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Funny Status |
| Me: Hey close the door. Parent: *leaves door open 2 centimeters* Me: *dying whale noise* |
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Funny Status |
| Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there. |
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Funny Status |
| Whoever said "money doesnt grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed. |
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Funny Status |
| True friends don`t judge each other. They judge other people together. |
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Funny Status |
| Getting caught in one of those, "It`s not what it looks like" moments. |
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Funny Status |
| Police: "You were going fast." Me: "I was trying to keep up with traffic." Police: "There isn`t any." Me: I know! That`s how far behind I am |
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Funny Status |
| I forgot to turn off my SWAG before I went to sleep yesterday. I woke up homeless and working at McDonalds. |
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Funny Status |
| Scientists say the world is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons. |
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Funny Status |
| I want to steal a doughnut truck and go on a high speed chase, because it would be funny watching cops chase a doughnut truck on the news. |
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Funny Status |
| `Mom, can we go to McDonalds?" "there`s food in the fridge." "That`s not what I asked... |
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Funny Status |
| If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace, how many bedrooms would your mansion have? |
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Funny Status |
| My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap. |
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Funny Status |
| "Was that lightning?" Nooo... they`re taking pictures for google earth. |
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Funny Status |
| Nothings more frightening than flushing the toilet and see the water rise till the top. |
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Funny Status |
| Facebook status: "I`m done with this shit!" Me: "Did you wipe?" |
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Funny Status |
| White girls will dance with anybody in the club. black girls don`t play they`ll flash their cell phone in your face to see what you look like :) |
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Funny Status |
| Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd one`s for you! |
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Funny Status |
| Your parents payed your iPhone, MacBook and bought you car? And they`re paying for your school? Please, tell me how hard your life is. |
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Funny Status |
| I bet our entire universe is just in a tiny glass jar placed neatly on a shelf in an alien child`s room as a science project he got a C- on. |
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Funny Status |
| When I was kid I always wanted a tree-house. ....who am I kidding? I still want one! |
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Funny Status |
| Saying you`ll wake up EARLY to get something done... then when you wake up, convincing yourself it`s not important.. |
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Funny Status |
| that embarrassing moment when you realize that person wasn`t waving at you |
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Funny Status |
| Boy: My Father`s name is LAUGHING and my Mother`s name is SMILING. Teacher: You must be Kidding? Boy: No, that`s my brother. I am JOKING |
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Funny Status |
| You can`t make somebody love you... You can only stalk them and hope for the best. |
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Funny Status |
| Me jealous of you? Sweet Jesus, Bless your delusional heart. |
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Funny Status |
| If at first you don`t succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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Funny Status |
| Just drove by a treehouse with a sign saying “Girls Allowed.” I`m curious to see how the treehouse community handles this paradigm shift. |
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Funny Status |
| A Mosquito landed on my friend`s face.... Easiest decision of my life! |
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Funny Status |
| In alcohol’s defense, I`ve done some pretty dumb stuff while completely sober too. |
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Funny Status |
| I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 4 or 5 times, just to be sure. |
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Funny Status |
| *texts back 3 weeks later* sorry I fell asleep |
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Funny Status |
| If I see an Apple store getting robbed, does that make me an iWitness? |
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Display pictures on social media are one of the most important aspects of your profile. They are essentially the first impression that people get of you and can convey a lot about your personality and style. Display pictures, also known as profile pictures, are typically small, square images that appear next to your username or handle on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Choosing the perfect display picture can be a daunting task, as it needs to be a reflection of who you are and what you want to convey to others. Some people opt for a professional headshot, while others go for something more casual or fun. Some even use their display picture as a way to showcase their interests or passions. One thing to keep in mind when choosing a display picture is that it should be high-quality and visually appealing. It should also be appropriate for the platform you are using and the audience you are trying to reach. For example, a LinkedIn profile picture may be more professional and polished, while an Instagram profile picture may be more creative and visually stunning. Overall, display pictures are an important element of your social media presence and should be chosen carefully. They can help you make a great first impression and convey your unique personality and style to the world.